MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

Act 3 Scene 5

(Enter Leonato, and Dogberry the constable, and Verges the headborough)
l1l	Leonato	 What would you with me, honest neighbour?
l2l	Dogberry	Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with
l3l		you that decerns you nearly.
l4l	Leonato	Brief I pray you, for you see it is a busy time
l5l		with me.
l6l	Dogberry	Marry, this it is, sir.
l7l	Verges	Yes, in truth it is, sir.
l8l	Leonato	What is it, my good friends?
l9l	Dogberry	Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the
l10l		matter—an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt
l11l		as, God help, I would desire they were. But in faith,
l12l		honest as the skin between his brows.
l13l	Verges	Yes, I thank God, I am as honest as any man
l14l		living that is an old man and no honester than I.
l15l	Dogberry	Comparisons are odorous. Palabras, neighbour
l16l		Verges.
l17l	Leonato	Neighbours, you are tedious.
l18l	Dogberry	It pleases your worship to say so, but we are
l19l		the poor Duke’s officers. But truly, for mine own part,
l20l		if I were as tedious as a king I could find in my heart
l21l		to bestow it all of your worship.
l22l	Leonato	All thy tediousness on me, ah?
l23l	Dogberry	Yea, an ’twere a thousand pound more than
l24l		’tis, for I hear as good exclamation on your worship
l25l		as of any man in the city, and though I be but a poor
l26l		man, I am glad to hear it.
l27l	Verges	And so am I.
l28l	Leonato	I would fain know what you have to say.
l29l	Verges	Marry, sir, our watch tonight, excepting your
l30l		worship’s presence, ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant
l31l		knaves as any in Messina.
l32l	Dogberry	A good old man, sir. He will be talking. As
l33l		they say, when the age is in, the wit is out. God help
l34l		us, it is a world to see. Well said, i’ faith, neighbour
l35l		Verges. Well, God’s a good man. An two men ride of
l36l		a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i’ faith,
l37l		sir, by my troth he is, as ever broke bread. But, God is
l38l		to be worshipped, all men are not alike, alas, good
l39l		neighbour.
l40l	Leonato	Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.
l41l	Dogberry	Gifts that God gives!
l42l	Leonato	I must leave you.
l43l	Dogberry	One word, sir. Our watch, sir, have indeed
l44l		comprehended two auspicious persons, and we would
l45l		have them this morning examined before your worship.
l46l	Leonato	Take their examination yourself, and bring it
l47l		me. I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto
l48l		you.
l49l	Dogberry	It shall be suffigance.
l50l	Leonato	Drink some wine ere you go. Fare you well.
		(Enter a Messenger)
l51l	Messenger	 My lord, they stay for you to give your
l52l		daughter to her husband.
l53l	Leonato	I’ll wait upon them, I am ready.
		(Exeunt Leonato and Messenger)
l54l	Dogberry	 Go, good partner, go get you to Francis Seacoal,
l55l		bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the jail. We are
l56l		now to examination these men.
l57l	Verges	And we must do it wisely.
l58l	Dogberry	We will spare for no wit, I warrant you. Here’s
l59l		that shall drive some of them to a non-com. Only get
l60l		the learned writer to set down our excommunication,
l61l		and meet me at the jail.
		(Exeunt)